I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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