I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
