just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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