The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My feet surprised me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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