new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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