i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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