Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
