Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize