Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
