lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
