forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
