He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize