she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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