dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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