Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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