i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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