were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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