Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize