I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize