The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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