So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
