I wish I could teleport
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
