come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
