I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
