I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So much rum. So many feels.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
