my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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