I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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