one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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