Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
