I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize