People in love make me want to vomit
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
