Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So squirting runs in the family.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time