so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The struggles of a small town man whore
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?