ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.