I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...