i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize