HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
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Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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