I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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