It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She told me I should be a condom model.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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