it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
