He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
