We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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