I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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