so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
