i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
