THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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