you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
