Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
