Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
