So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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