one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
