Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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