But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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