If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm really busy with my period
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