just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize