you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize