The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
