allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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