I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
