We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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