miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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