i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
