So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize