i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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