Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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