My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
