I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
