OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
